Breaking News…No Dave Matthews Band Summer tour for 2011!

AhHHHhhHHHhhH!

Lightening and thunder pull forth the ominous clouds of doom as I feel the very earth underneath my quivering feet crumble and my weary body slowly sinking into the burning pits of hell surrounded by eruptions of steam and flames and horrible guitar riffs that melt away my flesh and silence my last miserable words alive: “Not now, I’ve yet to hear the Last Stop!”

So DMB announced today no summer tour for 2011.

Yeah, I’m bummed. I’m a big fan! I go to the occasional Dave show, I have a shirt, a poster. Shit, I even have a bumper sticker. And if you’re my friend on the fbook, you know my statuses are usually filled with a quotable DMB lyric. I’ll even go as far as telling you that Dave is tied for the one person I’d pick to have dinner with, dead or alive. (Jerry Garcia, the other one.) However, and I mean however, I wouldn’t say I’m one of “those” fans. And ya’ll know exactly whom I’m talking about. “Those” fans whom measure life’s success in post counts on antsmarching.org. “Those” fans that go to at least 27 shows a tour and still feel unsatisfied. “Those” fans who give you the “oh you must not be a real fan look” when you tell them you’re sitting lawn. “Those” fans who ridicule other fans for not knowing the set list, venue and date for each LT. (Oh and LT stands for Live Trax, you worthless asshole.)

Like I said, I’m disappointed to hear I’ll go a whole summer without catching my favorite band live...but hey, the world ain’t slowin’ down. It’s gonna save my bank account and my sanity during “presale season.” Plus it will give me some time to check out some other great bands heading to my neck of the woods.

So my message to all of you out there who are frantically peering over your brown paper bag that’s supporting your breath while reading this, is to lower the bag and close your worried little eyes. (Not until you’re done reading of course.) And listen to my words.

It. Will. All. Be. Ok.

No one is dead. No ones house is on fire. The band is just taking a well-deserved break for a couple of months. In the meantime... Take a trip to the record store. Read a book on horticulture. Take summer classes. Adopt an Asian. Crawl out of your Dave bubble and take a little break yourself.

Until then, until that summer tour happens (uh doesn’t happen I mean) enjoy this summer tour that we so graciously have bestowed upon us and drink a damn beer.

I've got to get it somewhere

I mean, you never know, maybe you're dreaming

Who do you think you're watching

Who do you think you need

Play for me, play more,

Ten times in the same day

I need more, I'm going

Over my borders

I'm going to take more, more

From you, letter by letter -too much

Ben and Jerry's and Jerry Garcia

It sure seems easy dreaming about a really cool job to have. I mean of course being a Ben and Jerry’s taste-tester is ideal, but when it comes down to the brass tact’s of life, eating ice cream flavors all day isn’t one of the most prestigious careers to have. Surely to God eating ice cream and getting fat from it has no benefit to anyone (except my stomach). And so it seems I’m stuck trying to figure out what in the world I want to be when I grow up.

Professional Shopper sounds legit! …Right?

So I guess I’m going to settle for the next best thing. And that’s to become a broadcast journalist of some sort. And really, that’s not settling. That’s a pretty rad job according to Tanna Orgeron, assistant Professor of Communication Arts at the University of the Cumberlands, who says, “getting the job you desire in broadcasting can be one of the most creative jobs you will ever have. You have the power of your audience's emotions at your fingertips and that's a powerful tool." After all, I am studying broadcast journalism here at UK. (They didn’t have a professional taste- tester/shopper degree.) Narrowing down the “broadcast journalist of some sort”, I would chose music entertainment journalism. Writing and analyzing music is what makes me happy and happiness is what makes my world go ‘round. Andrew Johnson, Marketing and Game Operations Intern for the Minnesota Wild, says the key to achieving your dream job is “finding something that makes you happy. Life is short and if it makes you happy, do it.”

Music is a passion of mine, whether I’m singing or jamming to some Dave Matthews as I stroll around UK’s campus in my little hippie Volvo. Plus, all my childhood memories seem to have music playing in the background. Yeah, kind of like in the movies when you see the old man reflecting on his youth and then…BAM! That melancholy nostalgic music erupts from the movie speakers and caresses your ear buds. EXCEPT A.) I’m not an old man reflecting on my life and B.) The music I hear in the memories is actual music that was playing because dad couldn’t stand a night without Jerry Garcia’s sweet guitar licks dancing among us.

Dreams can spark from something instilled in you when you were a little chap rocking jellies or perhaps an article you read in a newspaper that got your wheels turning. Grant Doepel, UCTV-19’s student manager at the University of the Cumberlands, is building his resume to achieve his childhood dream of becoming a play-by-play announcer for the Cincinnati Reds. “Dreams are possible.”

Whether it’s the melody in a song, or the speech of a president, realizing your dream job and even your potential in life is all about finding intrigue and inspiration in something that makes you happy. After all, it’s happiness that makes the world go ‘round, and if Ben and Jerry’s is that for you, then go eat some.

A little band called DMB.

So my phone is out of minutes, my laptop is about to die and I’m stuck at work.

Crap.

At least iTunes makes me happy and keeps me occupied. Hopefully no more snot nosed (literally-allergy season is a biatch) kids come in here for a while. It’s nice to have the daycare room all to myself and my music without the sound of some obnoxious over the top, enthusiastic pre-teen wearing entirely too much makeup singing, dancing and “acting” on some lame ass show about a normal girl turned pop star or some wizards using their newly learned magic spells to get their chores done. And of course we all know what channel this shit is all compiled on. Disney. What ever happened to the cool Disney? Like, uh…well…hmm…Looks like I was a Nickelodeon kid. Ren and Stimpy, Pete and Pete, Ah Real Monsters that was legit. Hannah Montana. Not so much.

So I’m listening to LT 7…for those of you who don’t give your life to the DMB nation, LT 7=Live Trax Volume 7, 12.31.96, Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia. Gosh I remember when I first went to antsmarching.org or any other dmb forum.... I felt like an ass because I didn’t know what those lame ass abbreviations or acronyms stood for. I was constantly consulting iTunes and Google trying to find out what the fuck ASTB meant. (Anyone seen the bridge). I have to say, I’ve been a Dave fan since I can remember, but it wasn’t until these past years that I’ve been an “active” fan. I mean its absurd! Yeah, I don’t know Dave’s street address and how many times he wipes his ass, but does that really make me less of a person or WAIT…Less of a fan?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???????????????????????!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!?! Gasps and places back of hand against forehead and faints gracefully to the floor

PAUSE. Child just came into the daycare. She is a regular and quite adorable, I must admit. I remember when I first heard her adorable little child lisp…I asked her to tell me her favorite color over and over again. (It’s “pulpul” BTW)

Anywho…Back to the fans of DMB. Give me a break. That’s all I have to say.

This LT 7 is pretty superb. Seek up, as an opener would boggle my brain. I mean you know you’re in for a treat when you hear that opening gee-tar and Dave’s haunting “sometimes I feel like I’m fallllllllinnnnng”! Ahhh! But my favorite part of this song is the near close when Dave is just pouring his heart out thru his singing from his soul that’s accompanied with Boyd’s power pulling of that bow across those four string’s of his violin.

And then...

Dancing Nancies.

What a bunch of lucky bastards. Ya know you’ve already got good mojo because the show is happening in Dave’s home state PLUS it’s new Years!!! An opener of Seek Up and Dancing Nancies. You know that’s just foreplay for a wonderful show later. This aint no get in get out.

As I’m lost in Dave’s simplistic yet realistic lyrics, I start to daydream about this summer and the plethora of shows I’m “planning” on attending. If everything goes as planned, I will see DMB 6 times (If my parents let me go to Alpine)..Surely A Seek Up will be gracefully thrown into the set list! I mean come on Dave! You have like 23473874 songs and you only play about 12 of them. Let’s mix that shit up. I mean when you see fans holding up signs that say “Minarets” or “Last Stop” that CLEARLY means they WANT you to play those.

Ok, so that brings me to Last Stop. OMG if a Dave fan is reading this, they just went from 6 to midnight. Seriously guys, cool off. This song is pretty sweet yes…but is it really worth all the blood, sweat and tears? Not literally blood (although I wouldn’t be surprised if a bunch of nut-bar Dave heads had a ritual killing/sacrifice for this song to be played again.) I don’t know, maybe this song just hasn’t struck a chord with me yet. Maybe it will one day and I’m totally hoping that it will get to the point where I hear it and I lose my mind, bouncing off the walls, ripping clothes and screaming the lyrics entirely too loud. Part of me just wants to hear the damn thing so I can spitefully rub it in the faces of those who jerk it to the song.

Until then. I’ll just suck it up and live my life, day by day. By day.

PAUSE. The little “pupul” girl wants me to read. Damn.

uhh...

Ricky Martin is gay

1. No shit

2. Who cares

That is all.

Well...

So I've been assigned to start up my very own blog. I'm half excited and half not simply because this is a last minute attempt to complete this project. And Lets face it, I'd much rather be sitting on my ass eating something entirely unhealthy (preferably something smothered in chocolate or cheese but not together because that combo sounds slightly barf-able) and watching ANTM reruns. (Yeah we all have our T.V addictions, don't judge Jersey Shore!) Now my dear readers please don't go and automatically think this will be some half-assed blog because its a school project...oh and because it's due tomorrow...It will be the most spectacular piece of uh, blog that your precious little eyes will ever grace upon! Ever heard of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel, or how about Mozart's Piano Concerto No.21 in C major?!?! Yeah, those little guys, well my blog is up there in stupendous-ness! YES!

Ok. yes, yeah that previous statement was a tad over the top, I'll admit and a bit well...what's the word...Ahh yes, exaggerated. But honestly speaking who can top those guys and their art. Honestly.

So now that we both know this blog won't top that garb, the least we can look forward to is the fact that the bar isn't set that high and no one's gonna be let down! SWEET! The least you expect from me is crap! It can only get better! The glass can only get more full! YAY! (I love using exclamation marks and parenthesis)...Just an FYI.

Ok, so seriously kids, I'm here to talk.To shoot the breeze about "blog stuff." I'm me and I'll always be that. I'm not quite sure what my purpose in life is. (I mean beyond being incredibly good looking.) I'm not sure what my future holds for me or most importantly for the time being, what I should write about in this bliz-og! I'm not even in the know of what I'm doing this weekend for the love of God!

After about a 33 second and a half reflection I've come to this realization. This magnificent epiphany...(read on)

I do know that I'm a mess and a half college student who is hoping to not only get an A+ on this blog, but to actually use this as an outlet for my stress, anxiousness, frustrations, nerves, excitements, feelings, thoughts on Kate Gosselin and overall ideals of the life I'm living and breathing every day. I'm going to use this blog to let out my feelings and to discover who I am as a woman!

cue the dramatic motivational music and applause.

So for the future (yes I used the "f" word.) here's what you need to always keep in the back of yo brain playa when your reading my bliz-ogs.

1. I use slang. Popular words include : balla and playa.

2. I'm white.

3. I might throw in some swear words. According to my dad he thinks I think swearing makes me appear "cool and mature." Rolls eyes

4. I ramble like a son of a gun and usually have no real structure to my writing or thought process for that matter.

5. I am sarcastic. No, not really...Wait?

6. I f'ing hate Kate Gosselin.

Ok so yeah, it sounds so spectacular saying those things and it was dramatic but it would be pretty rad to learn from this experience. Maybe I'll even get paid for it? I mean people get paid for everything these days! Riding people around on those ridiculous bikes with the little chariot thingy attached. That is so stupid but I guess I'd want to get paid too if I was biking people's fat, lazy asses around all day. How humiliating!

AH I digress, read my blog and like it. Thanks. Peace. Love. Happiness and all the other wonderful things in the world:) -Al