AhHHHhhHHHhhH!
Lightening and thunder pull forth the ominous clouds of doom as I feel the very earth underneath my quivering feet crumble and my weary body slowly sinking into the burning pits of hell surrounded by eruptions of steam and flames and horrible guitar riffs that melt away my flesh and silence my last miserable words alive: “Not now, I’ve yet to hear the Last Stop!”
So DMB announced today no summer tour for 2011.
Yeah, I’m bummed. I’m a big fan! I go to the occasional Dave show, I have a shirt, a poster. Shit, I even have a bumper sticker. And if you’re my friend on the fbook, you know my statuses are usually filled with a quotable DMB lyric. I’ll even go as far as telling you that Dave is tied for the one person I’d pick to have dinner with, dead or alive. (Jerry Garcia, the other one.) However, and I mean however, I wouldn’t say I’m one of “those” fans. And ya’ll know exactly whom I’m talking about. “Those” fans whom measure life’s success in post counts on antsmarching.org. “Those” fans that go to at least 27 shows a tour and still feel unsatisfied. “Those” fans who give you the “oh you must not be a real fan look” when you tell them you’re sitting lawn. “Those” fans who ridicule other fans for not knowing the set list, venue and date for each LT. (Oh and LT stands for Live Trax, you worthless asshole.)
Like I said, I’m disappointed to hear I’ll go a whole summer without catching my favorite band live...but hey, the world ain’t slowin’ down. It’s gonna save my bank account and my sanity during “presale season.” Plus it will give me some time to check out some other great bands heading to my neck of the woods.
So my message to all of you out there who are frantically peering over your brown paper bag that’s supporting your breath while reading this, is to lower the bag and close your worried little eyes. (Not until you’re done reading of course.) And listen to my words.
It. Will. All. Be. Ok.
No one is dead. No ones house is on fire. The band is just taking a well-deserved break for a couple of months. In the meantime... Take a trip to the record store. Read a book on horticulture. Take summer classes. Adopt an Asian. Crawl out of your Dave bubble and take a little break yourself.
Until then, until that summer tour happens (uh doesn’t happen I mean) enjoy this summer tour that we so graciously have bestowed upon us and drink a damn beer.
I've got to get it somewhere
I mean, you never know, maybe you're dreaming
Who do you think you're watching
Who do you think you need
Play for me, play more,
Ten times in the same day
I need more, I'm going
Over my borders
I'm going to take more, more
From you, letter by letter -too much
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