Well...

So I've been assigned to start up my very own blog. I'm half excited and half not simply because this is a last minute attempt to complete this project. And Lets face it, I'd much rather be sitting on my ass eating something entirely unhealthy (preferably something smothered in chocolate or cheese but not together because that combo sounds slightly barf-able) and watching ANTM reruns. (Yeah we all have our T.V addictions, don't judge Jersey Shore!) Now my dear readers please don't go and automatically think this will be some half-assed blog because its a school project...oh and because it's due tomorrow...It will be the most spectacular piece of uh, blog that your precious little eyes will ever grace upon! Ever heard of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel, or how about Mozart's Piano Concerto No.21 in C major?!?! Yeah, those little guys, well my blog is up there in stupendous-ness! YES!

Ok. yes, yeah that previous statement was a tad over the top, I'll admit and a bit well...what's the word...Ahh yes, exaggerated. But honestly speaking who can top those guys and their art. Honestly.

So now that we both know this blog won't top that garb, the least we can look forward to is the fact that the bar isn't set that high and no one's gonna be let down! SWEET! The least you expect from me is crap! It can only get better! The glass can only get more full! YAY! (I love using exclamation marks and parenthesis)...Just an FYI.

Ok, so seriously kids, I'm here to talk.To shoot the breeze about "blog stuff." I'm me and I'll always be that. I'm not quite sure what my purpose in life is. (I mean beyond being incredibly good looking.) I'm not sure what my future holds for me or most importantly for the time being, what I should write about in this bliz-og! I'm not even in the know of what I'm doing this weekend for the love of God!

After about a 33 second and a half reflection I've come to this realization. This magnificent epiphany...(read on)

I do know that I'm a mess and a half college student who is hoping to not only get an A+ on this blog, but to actually use this as an outlet for my stress, anxiousness, frustrations, nerves, excitements, feelings, thoughts on Kate Gosselin and overall ideals of the life I'm living and breathing every day. I'm going to use this blog to let out my feelings and to discover who I am as a woman!

cue the dramatic motivational music and applause.

So for the future (yes I used the "f" word.) here's what you need to always keep in the back of yo brain playa when your reading my bliz-ogs.

1. I use slang. Popular words include : balla and playa.

2. I'm white.

3. I might throw in some swear words. According to my dad he thinks I think swearing makes me appear "cool and mature." Rolls eyes

4. I ramble like a son of a gun and usually have no real structure to my writing or thought process for that matter.

5. I am sarcastic. No, not really...Wait?

6. I f'ing hate Kate Gosselin.

Ok so yeah, it sounds so spectacular saying those things and it was dramatic but it would be pretty rad to learn from this experience. Maybe I'll even get paid for it? I mean people get paid for everything these days! Riding people around on those ridiculous bikes with the little chariot thingy attached. That is so stupid but I guess I'd want to get paid too if I was biking people's fat, lazy asses around all day. How humiliating!

AH I digress, read my blog and like it. Thanks. Peace. Love. Happiness and all the other wonderful things in the world:) -Al